Developing Emotional Maturity
Step 1
Don’t be a bully.
Bullying behavior often emerges from a sense of insecurity or poor self-esteem. It can be a way for people to try and assert their power over others. Bullying is bad for people who are bullied and for those who do the bullying. If you find yourself engaging in bullying behavior, talk to someone you trust, like a parent or school counselor, about how to stop.
Bullying falls into three basic types: verbal, social, and physical. Verbal bullying involves things like name-calling, threatening others, or making inappropriate comments. While words don’t cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Watch what you say, and don’t say something to someone that you wouldn’t want them to say to you.
Social bullying involves doing damage to someone’s social reputation or relationships. Shunning others, spreading rumors, humiliating others, or gossiping are all types of social bullying.
Physical bullying involves hurting someone (or someone’s things). Any physical violence, as well as taking or destroying someone’s stuff or making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.
Don’t allow bullying to happen when you’re around, either. While you don’t have to get physically involved with a bully -- in fact, that can be really unsafe -- there are plenty of ways for you to help create a bully-free environment. Setting a good example by not bullying others.
Telling bullies that their behavior isn’t funny or cool. Being nice to victims of bullying.Telling responsible adults about bullying.
If you feel like you have a bullying problem, consider talking with a counselor or therapist. Maybe you have some deeper issues that are making you feel like you need to belittle or pick on others. A counselor can give you approaches to develop more positive relationships.
Step 2
Avoid gossip, rumors, and talking about others behind their backs.
Gossip, rumor-mongering, and backstabbing can hurt other people just as much as if you’d punched them in the face -- maybe even more. Even if you don’t mean gossip maliciously, it can still do damage. Mature people care about others’ needs and feelings and don’t do things that could cause hurt.
Gossip won’t necessarily make you cool or popular, either. Studies have shown that gossip may make you seem cool when you’re in fifth grade, but by ninth grade (when you’re hopefully more mature) gossipers are generally seen as less likeable and less popular.
Don’t encourage gossip either. If someone tries to initiate gossip when you’re around, speak up: research shows that when even one person says “Hey, I’m not cool with gossiping about other people” it can really make a difference.
Sometimes, you may say something nice about someone and it can end up translated by other people as gossip. For example, maybe you told a friend “I really like hanging out with Ziyi. She’s so funny!” and someone else told someone else that you said something mean. You can’t control how other people interpret or respond to what you say. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. Make sure that your words are kind.
A good test to determine whether something is gossip or rumor is to ask yourself: Would I want other people to hear or know this about me? If the answer is no, don’t share it with others.
Step 3
Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.
If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will communicate that what the person said was not okay. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if there's no apology, just walk away.
Step 4
Keep an open mind.
Mature people are open-minded. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut it out or dismiss the possibility. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone) new and different.
If someone has a different belief or habit than you do, don’t judge it immediately. Instead, ask open questions, such as “Could you tell me more about this?” or “Why do you do that?”
Try to listen more than you talk, at least at first. Don’t interrupt people or say “But I think---” Let them talk. You’ll be surprised what you learn.
Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification before you make a snap judgement. For example, if you think someone just insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say _______. Is that what you meant?” If the other person says s/he didn’t mean it that way, accept it.
Don’t expect the worst from people. Go into situations expecting that everyone else is human, just like you. They probably won’t try to be mean or hurtful, but they may also make mistakes. Learning to accept people just as they are will help you be more mature.
Sometimes, you just won’t agree with someone else. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree -- that’s part of being mature.
Step 5
Have confidence in yourself.
Do not apologize for any quirks or oddities that you may have, even if others don’t approve. As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial and won’t cause anyone harm, you should feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't second-guess themselves or try to be something that they aren't.
Developing hobbies and skills you’re good at is a great way to build your self-confidence. You’ll learn that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and have a cool set of skills to share with others.
Watch out for that inner critic. If you notice negative thoughts about yourself, think about whether you’d say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t do it to a friend, why would you tear yourself down? Try rewording these negative thoughts into helpful ones.
For example, you might think “I am such a loser! I suck at math and I’ll never get any better.” This isn’t a helpful thought, and it definitely isn’t something you’d tell a friend. Reword it in terms of what you can do about it: “I’m not great at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don’t make an A in the class, I’ll know I did my best.”
Step 6
Be genuine.
A mark of true maturity is being true to who you are. You can have self-confidence without acting arrogant or pompous. A mature person doesn’t have to tear others down or pretend to be something s/he’s not to feel good about him or herself.
Talk about things that truly interest you. When you care about something, it shows.
When you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to go overboard denying them. For example, if the thought “I really am worried about this test next week” shows up, your first reaction might be to pretend “Nothing scares me!” This isn’t true to yourself. It’s more mature to admit when you’re feeling insecure or vulnerable. Everyone has moments when they don’t feel confident. That’s totally normal.
Express your feelings clearly. Beating around the bush or being passive aggressive aren’t mature or genuine ways to deal with your feelings. Be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say how you really feel.
Do what you think is right. Sometimes, other people may mock or criticise you for it. However, if you stick to your principles, you’ll know you’ve been true to yourself. If people don’t respect that, you don’t want their good opinion anyway.
Step 7
Accept personal responsibility.
Possibly the most important part of becoming a more mature person is accepting responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that things don’t simply happen to you. You are an agent in your own life, and your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others. Own up when you make mistakes. Recognize that you can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do.
Accept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do badly on an essay, don’t blame it on the teacher. Think about what actions you took to get you to that result. What can you do better next time?
Focus less on whether something is fair. Things will not always be fair in life. Sometimes, you may deserve something that you don’t get. Mature people will not allow unfairness to stand in the way of their accomplishments.
Step 8
Take control of what you can.
A lot of anxiety comes from trying to control things that aren't necessarily yours to control. However, there are things you can control, and it's important to be aware of those and to work on what you can in order to improve those things. For example:
For the job: You can polish and proofread your resume. You can prepare for the interview as well as you can. You can dress professionally when you interview for the job. You can show up on time. You may still end up not getting the job, but you will have done everything within your control.
For relationships: You can be respectful, funny, and kind. You can be yourself around the other person. You can be vulnerable and tell him/her that you’d like to have a relationship. These are things you are in control of. Even if things don’t work out, you can rest easy knowing you stayed true to yourself and gave yourself the best shot.
Step 9
Don’t accept defeat.
Most of the time, people give up because it’s easier than trying again. It’s much easier to say “I’m a loser” than it is to say “Well, that approach didn’t work out, let’s see what else I can do!” Accept responsibility for y
our choices and choose to keep on trying, no matter what.
I saw this in internet if you guys want make use of it. Especially for mens
.
thanks for your support guys.
Step 1
Don’t be a bully.
Bullying behavior often emerges from a sense of insecurity or poor self-esteem. It can be a way for people to try and assert their power over others. Bullying is bad for people who are bullied and for those who do the bullying. If you find yourself engaging in bullying behavior, talk to someone you trust, like a parent or school counselor, about how to stop.
Bullying falls into three basic types: verbal, social, and physical. Verbal bullying involves things like name-calling, threatening others, or making inappropriate comments. While words don’t cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Watch what you say, and don’t say something to someone that you wouldn’t want them to say to you.
Social bullying involves doing damage to someone’s social reputation or relationships. Shunning others, spreading rumors, humiliating others, or gossiping are all types of social bullying.
Physical bullying involves hurting someone (or someone’s things). Any physical violence, as well as taking or destroying someone’s stuff or making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.
Don’t allow bullying to happen when you’re around, either. While you don’t have to get physically involved with a bully -- in fact, that can be really unsafe -- there are plenty of ways for you to help create a bully-free environment. Setting a good example by not bullying others.
Telling bullies that their behavior isn’t funny or cool. Being nice to victims of bullying.Telling responsible adults about bullying.
If you feel like you have a bullying problem, consider talking with a counselor or therapist. Maybe you have some deeper issues that are making you feel like you need to belittle or pick on others. A counselor can give you approaches to develop more positive relationships.
Step 2
Avoid gossip, rumors, and talking about others behind their backs.
Gossip, rumor-mongering, and backstabbing can hurt other people just as much as if you’d punched them in the face -- maybe even more. Even if you don’t mean gossip maliciously, it can still do damage. Mature people care about others’ needs and feelings and don’t do things that could cause hurt.
Gossip won’t necessarily make you cool or popular, either. Studies have shown that gossip may make you seem cool when you’re in fifth grade, but by ninth grade (when you’re hopefully more mature) gossipers are generally seen as less likeable and less popular.
Don’t encourage gossip either. If someone tries to initiate gossip when you’re around, speak up: research shows that when even one person says “Hey, I’m not cool with gossiping about other people” it can really make a difference.
Sometimes, you may say something nice about someone and it can end up translated by other people as gossip. For example, maybe you told a friend “I really like hanging out with Ziyi. She’s so funny!” and someone else told someone else that you said something mean. You can’t control how other people interpret or respond to what you say. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. Make sure that your words are kind.
A good test to determine whether something is gossip or rumor is to ask yourself: Would I want other people to hear or know this about me? If the answer is no, don’t share it with others.
Step 3
Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.
If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will communicate that what the person said was not okay. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if there's no apology, just walk away.
Step 4
Keep an open mind.
Mature people are open-minded. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut it out or dismiss the possibility. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone) new and different.
If someone has a different belief or habit than you do, don’t judge it immediately. Instead, ask open questions, such as “Could you tell me more about this?” or “Why do you do that?”
Try to listen more than you talk, at least at first. Don’t interrupt people or say “But I think---” Let them talk. You’ll be surprised what you learn.
Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification before you make a snap judgement. For example, if you think someone just insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say _______. Is that what you meant?” If the other person says s/he didn’t mean it that way, accept it.
Don’t expect the worst from people. Go into situations expecting that everyone else is human, just like you. They probably won’t try to be mean or hurtful, but they may also make mistakes. Learning to accept people just as they are will help you be more mature.
Sometimes, you just won’t agree with someone else. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree -- that’s part of being mature.
Step 5
Have confidence in yourself.
Do not apologize for any quirks or oddities that you may have, even if others don’t approve. As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial and won’t cause anyone harm, you should feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't second-guess themselves or try to be something that they aren't.
Developing hobbies and skills you’re good at is a great way to build your self-confidence. You’ll learn that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and have a cool set of skills to share with others.
Watch out for that inner critic. If you notice negative thoughts about yourself, think about whether you’d say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t do it to a friend, why would you tear yourself down? Try rewording these negative thoughts into helpful ones.
For example, you might think “I am such a loser! I suck at math and I’ll never get any better.” This isn’t a helpful thought, and it definitely isn’t something you’d tell a friend. Reword it in terms of what you can do about it: “I’m not great at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don’t make an A in the class, I’ll know I did my best.”
Step 6
Be genuine.
A mark of true maturity is being true to who you are. You can have self-confidence without acting arrogant or pompous. A mature person doesn’t have to tear others down or pretend to be something s/he’s not to feel good about him or herself.
Talk about things that truly interest you. When you care about something, it shows.
When you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to go overboard denying them. For example, if the thought “I really am worried about this test next week” shows up, your first reaction might be to pretend “Nothing scares me!” This isn’t true to yourself. It’s more mature to admit when you’re feeling insecure or vulnerable. Everyone has moments when they don’t feel confident. That’s totally normal.
Express your feelings clearly. Beating around the bush or being passive aggressive aren’t mature or genuine ways to deal with your feelings. Be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say how you really feel.
Do what you think is right. Sometimes, other people may mock or criticise you for it. However, if you stick to your principles, you’ll know you’ve been true to yourself. If people don’t respect that, you don’t want their good opinion anyway.
Step 7
Accept personal responsibility.
Possibly the most important part of becoming a more mature person is accepting responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that things don’t simply happen to you. You are an agent in your own life, and your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others. Own up when you make mistakes. Recognize that you can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do.
Accept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do badly on an essay, don’t blame it on the teacher. Think about what actions you took to get you to that result. What can you do better next time?
Focus less on whether something is fair. Things will not always be fair in life. Sometimes, you may deserve something that you don’t get. Mature people will not allow unfairness to stand in the way of their accomplishments.
Step 8
Take control of what you can.
A lot of anxiety comes from trying to control things that aren't necessarily yours to control. However, there are things you can control, and it's important to be aware of those and to work on what you can in order to improve those things. For example:
For the job: You can polish and proofread your resume. You can prepare for the interview as well as you can. You can dress professionally when you interview for the job. You can show up on time. You may still end up not getting the job, but you will have done everything within your control.
For relationships: You can be respectful, funny, and kind. You can be yourself around the other person. You can be vulnerable and tell him/her that you’d like to have a relationship. These are things you are in control of. Even if things don’t work out, you can rest easy knowing you stayed true to yourself and gave yourself the best shot.
Step 9
Don’t accept defeat.
Most of the time, people give up because it’s easier than trying again. It’s much easier to say “I’m a loser” than it is to say “Well, that approach didn’t work out, let’s see what else I can do!” Accept responsibility for y
our choices and choose to keep on trying, no matter what.
I saw this in internet if you guys want make use of it. Especially for mens
.thanks for your support guys.