Yeno sendraai..
It was a cold evening, Ramya was sitting on a park bench and struggling to contain the chaos in her mind.
"Maya, enough lets go it is getting cold" said Ramya hugging her jacket to her 4 year old daughter.
Maya: "Pleaaasse innum konja neram.."
Maya's plea echoed back in time, stirring within Ramya a cascade of memories that carried her six years into the past.
Aravind: "Pleaaasse innum konja neram.. En lunch ipo mudinjurum, athu varai pesu"
Ramya: "Ithaan voice call vara maaten nu sonen, ini only text"
Aravind: "Noooo, nee pesa kooda venda, un moochu ketaale pothum, naa pesikren nee kelu, pothum"
Ramya: "No no un voice danger, athu keta enaku enamo pannum"
Aravind: "apo 1 hr ah pesiruken, enga ena panuchu sollu"
Ramya: "Stop, naa call cut panren."
(she kept saying this couple more times for the next 1 hr)
Aravind: "love you! time aachu naa kelambren ok va kutty"
Ramya: "mm po po, I feel so used, paathukren"
Aravind: "Eyy! .."
"Amma polaaam va, amma", Maya pulled Ramya's arm to bring her to present. On their way back home, she got a call from her husband. "Park la.. nee?.. hmm ok, key irukula.. seri, naa kulika poren".
Ramya settled Maya at the table with her crayons and stepped into shower. Standing before the mirror, she gazed upon her reflection. A familiar shiver coursed through her body, a ghostly echo of the same shiver she had felt precisely on this day six years ago.
Ramya was nervously looking at her own cam, feeling very self conscious and awkward.
Aravind: Enaachu, cam on pannu d, atleast oru 10 seconds, una paakanum
Ramya: No I cant do it, enaku panic aaguthu.
Aravind: Hey nee thaane sone, long distance love express panrathuk lust valiya thaan mudyum nu. Avlo soniye nerla meet panrapo athu panuve, ithu panuve nu.
Ramya: Sonen, nee nerla vaa apo ena paaka. US la public la kiss panlaam.
Aravind: Naa vantha thirumbi India vara maaten. Una kalayanam panikitu angaye settle aayiruven. So nee vaa first enna paaka, oru change ku, inga iruku India
Ramya: Chance eh ilaa poda.
Aravind: haha nee varuve. seri, cam
Ramya: Please, Dont force me. cam la I feel like the whole world is watching me.
Aravind: seri vidu.
After a minute of silence, with a hesitant breath and a pounding heart, Ramya clicked on 'show cam'. The call did not drop after 10 seconds, but her robe did.
The click of the door unlocking jolted Ramya back to the present moment. "Aravinddd!!! Naa kulcihutu iruken nu therialaya," she cried out in fear and frustration.
Aravind: Heyy relax, naan thaane. Yen ipidi bayapadre.
Ramya: (still trembling with anger and shaken by the sudden intrusion) get out
Aravind: "Fine fine, okay."
His disappointment evident in the resigned tone of his reply.
--------------
Ramya sat beside Maya and Aravind at the dining table, her heart heavy with regret. "Sorry, thideernu bayanthuten"
Aravind: Forget it, I am used to it now. Innum evalo venaalum katthu, kova padu, naa ethum keka maaten.
Ramya: (voice barely audible) Sorry sonen la, periya vishyam aakaathe.
Aravind's patience snapped, his frustration boiling over as he grabbed Ramya's arm and dragged her to their study room, pointed at the wall.
Aravind: Intha pictures paaru, ithu un college picture, epidi iruke paaru. Ipidi sirichu una nerla naa paathathe ila. Ithu paaru, namma marriage picture, ithula kooda nee happy ah ila. Fake smile kooda pana mudiyaatha aalvukku unaku ena naa korai vechen.
Ramya phased out again, with Arvind's voice fading out in background, looking at the picture from college, with her best friend Swetha.
Swetha's anger blazed through her words "Shit! What were you thinking?? Yetho online chat la therinjavan, avankooda Cam la... Seri, aprom again una disturb panaan na"
Ramya: Illa, anaiku naa ethum reply panla. But next day la irunthu online la ye ila.
Swetha: (still in shock) call pani paathiya?
Ramya: hmm, not reachable, but..
Swetha: But what??
Ramya: Evening oru US number la irunthu enaku message vanthuchu.
She showed the message "I am sorry, forgive me, am leaving"
Swetha: F**K! ok, I am taking this US number, Kevin kita kekren. Avan FBI intern ipo, avana track down panna. Ivana elaam..
Ramya: Swetha! Stop! we are in love, kandipa he will call me and tell me what happened. yen upset ah iruken nu kete so sonen, avalothaan.
Swetha: oh seri, Oru naal ethaachu site la un video varum, namma friends eh paathu soluvaanga. Apo nambuve.
Ramya: Pothum shutup, naan paathukren. nee un velaya paathutu po.
She hung up and dialed Aravind's Indian number and heard the familiar automated female voice 28th time that day, one for each month they had known each other.
Aravind's "I cant take it anymore" and a loud door slam, brought her back to present.
Ramya: "Arvind!! wait! am sorry..", her voice heavy with desperation and guilt.
For rest of the night and the following day, Arvind's voice kept resonating in her mind "unaku ena korai vechen". He is a perfect husband and a good father, she thought. "Why am I ruining my life" "Aravind and Maya deserve a better wife and mother than I've become." "Enough"
--------------
Ramya put Maya to sleep and opened her laptop, looked for tickets to Dallas for next morning, and booked return the same day, so she can arrive in time to pickup Maya from school. She then started typing a mail to Kevin, "I need to know why...". She couldnt stop her mind going back in time, when she last met Kevin. Swetha was there too, as it was at their marriage.
Swetha: "Ramyaa! wait"
Ramya hoped she could just wish them and leave soon, but Swetha had so much to say to her one friend, she genuinely cared. Kevin also followed, happy to see Ramya.
Ramya: "Hey un lehenga super, love it."
Swetha: "Unkita pesanum, iru. Un marriage invitation paathen"
Ramya: "Please d inga venda, later peslaam. This day is about you, not about me."
Swetha: "Almost one year aachu, namma seriya pesi, I cannot wait for later. I really thought you moved on..
Ramya: (trying to lighten the mood) I did, athaan kalyanam pana poren la in 2 months, kandipa 1 week munaadi rendu perum vaanga, I need you guys.
Swetha: (in tears now) Stop this bulshit d. Breakup na, hurt na, manasa vittu aluthuru, enkita share pannu, ila kovapadu avan ipidi paninathuku, ipidi oru jadama irukaathe for godsake.
Kevin: (leaned forward) Swetha, tell her about the number.
Swetha: hmm yes, I really thought you moved on, athaan solaama irunthen. We tracked down the US number, his real name is Karthik, rendu kolanthainga, middle school la padikraanga. Wife's name is Preethi. US la 12 years ah irukaanga.
Ramya: (with a fake chuckle) Hey athu vera yaara venaalum iruklaam, vidu d. I am ok now.
Swetha: avanga passport home address, 12th street gandhi nagar, Coimbatore.
Ramya's heart skipped a beat.
Swetha: Nee en amazon India account la avanuku send panina card oda athey address.
Ramya: Seri vidu, let it be. I am getting married soon, I am over it.
Swetha: Appo ithuku enna artham?
Ramya already started walking away, when Swetha opened Ramya's marriage invitation on her phone and started reading out aloud:
"Ramya Shekar weds Aravind Vijay.. Really??"
She clicked "send"
--------------
Each second felt like an eternity to her. She asked the uber driver "how long?". "4 more minutes ma'am". She re-read Kevin's message again, "2110 Hamilton drive. Ithu avan phone oda live location Ramya, take care. call if you need us". The car halted and as soon as she got down and the morning gush of air hugged her, she knew. Deep down she had always known, but was in denial and didnt want to find out. Not caring about the others who stood around him, she caught her breath and ran towards him, tears streaming down her face like the rains pouring down for the first time, proving six long years of pent-up longing and yearning. As she drew closer, the voices of the two men standing by his side became audible, one offering solace to the other in a moment of shared grief.
Man1: "own brother ah"
Man2: (in trembling voice) "No sir en cousin, I still cant accept it. Yen thideernu inga varanum, yen antha jewellery shop poganum, India la thoongitu irukara time la yen ipidi samanthame ilaama inga vanthu oru mass shooting la saaganum"
Man1: "enna? ungaluku varathe theriatha, pesave ilaya"
Man2: Illa sir, hospital la irunthu call vanthu thaan ponen. 28 gunshots, lungs elaam punctured avanaala pesa mudila, breathe eh pana mudila, ventilator la vechurunthaanga. But heart matum steady ah beat aaitu arunthuchu.
Man1: oh nenaivu ilaya?
Man2: Therila sir, ena therinjutha nu kooda therila but en phone ah point paninaan, naa kuduthen. Avan identification forms la sign panitu paakrathu kula,..